and seeing Him laugh has done more for me than any scripture i have ever read. --Meister Eckhart
The cross-eyed cop arrested three cross-eyed drunks. He turned to the first cross-eyed drunk and said, "what is your name?" And the second cross-eyed drunk said, "Miles MacDuffy." The cross-eyed cop said, "I wasn't talking to you!!!" And the third cross-eyed drunk said, "I didn't say anything!"
Billy and Bertie cockroach are munching delicacies on top of the garbage pile when Billy begins telling Bertie about the new tenants in the nearby apartment. "I hear," Says Billy, "That their refrigerator is spotless, their floors are gleaming, and there is not a trace of dirt in the whole place!" "Please, please,' says Bertie, "not while I'm eating!"
Elise the Cow is on one side of the electric fence, and Ferdinand the Bull is on the other side. Elsie gives Ferdinand a wink, and he leaps over the fence to her side. "Aren't you Ferdinand the Bull?" asks Elsie. "Just call me Ferdinand," he replies. "The fence was higher than I thought."
A man parks his car on a street in New York. But when he returns he finds that someone has smashed into the rear end of his car. On the windshield he finds a note that reads: "Dear sir, I just smashed into your car. The people who saw the accident are watching me. They think I am writing down my name and address, so you can contact me regarding the damage. They are a bunch of idiots."
A Canadian farmer is chopping wood for winter when an old Indian man comes out of the forest and says, "cold winter this year," Hearing this the farmer chops more wood than usual. The next day he is still chopping wood when the old Indian appears again and says, "very cold winter this year!" So the farmer keeps chopping late into the night. The following day he is at it again and by now he has a huge pile of wood when the old Indian comes by and says, "very, very cold winter this year!!" The farmer stops chopping and says, "Hey chief, how do you know that?" "Well," says the Indian, "in my tribe we have a maxim: 'cold weather comes when you see white man chopping wood.'"
at dinner one evening ,the cannibal chief complained, "I hate my mother in law!" "Well," said his wife, "then just eat your vegetables!"